I’m trapped. I’m trapped not just in my position of society but in my mind. I am trapped in a way where I want to change and be different than I am now, I want to be myself, but I’m too scared. I worry of what others will think so I internalize myself and cover myself in an alternate personality that I don’t take off unless I'm in complete solitude with no one around to see. And even then I stay inside of my head and fall victim to my own hateful thoughts against myself. I know that I need to find a way to get out of this pit but I don’t want to tell anyone my true emotions because I don’t want to be a burden or a worry on someone else’s life. Why should anyone else have to hear or care about what I feel. They’re just emotions, they’re irrelevant and don’t matter to anyone else. So for now I’ll keep going on with this skin of someone I don’t recognize until I can’t handle it anymore. Because at this point change is a bigger threat to me than the pain that I feel now.