I'm a multi-tour veteran now in my 40's. I worked in a specialist support role in the Iraq and Afghan conflicts, holding 3 service medals and a commendation. I feel like I've seen the worst of greed and anger in people, yet also the best of bravery and sacrifice. I eventually moved to Australia to make a new life and leave that all behind. The surprising thing has been how lonely that is. My life for years revolved around that job, yet surrounded most times by mates experiencing the same stresses and fire, and we could always discuss things with each other. There was no shame in showing doubt or weakness, even needing a break. Many people quit early over the years with what would have once been called 'shell-shock', or misused alcohol to cope. I thankfully never got to those stages myself on the job. Meeting new people, making new connections in life, the most common question we get asked as, when people know our background, is "What was it like over there?" They want details. When you've been talking for all of 30 seconds you see the other person's face change. Plenty times they realise they didn't actually want to know, but look at you differently. And the loneliness continues, the sense of disconnection and disassociation in society. This year, 2019, I've been working with a veterans' test group. We were selected in for long service and a decent level of emotional articulation. Working with mental health professionals we have been discussing how to create new therapies (some of which we assesed ourselves) to help future vets reconnect to society. This work has been successful. I found it transformational, I think we all did. I'm a better person now. I still feel lonely, unsure of what to disclose to new people, but now I know there are possibly thousands of people like me out in society going through the same feelings. I think the lesson as always is talk to someone, somewhere. Find help for loneliness - and remember that the help you need might turn out to be helping others :-) .