My name is Wendy Castro Jimenez and this is my story.. As female athletes we are what most consider type A personality, which means that we tend to be over achievers and have perfectionistic tendencies. When I verbally committed to playing D1 softball in high school I was told since the school is paying for me to attend the university the least I could do was take care of my body, and from there on out I did. I cut out gluten and exercised more, because in my mind I equated “strong” with “skinny”. When I got a concussion my freshman year of college I was told that I couldn’t workout with my team and something switched in my head. When I didn’t exercise I felt like I didn’t “deserve” to eat, because I didn’t earn it. As an athlete you’re taught that you have to “earn” your way to the top, you have to earn your jersey. This mindset ultimately led me down to having an eating disorder called anorexia nervosa. Once I was too sick to play, I felt like my identity was taken away, because like many of you, all my life I was known as a student athlete. Afterwards I felt lost and confused, I didn’t know who I was anymore. This in a sense exasperated my eating disorder because I felt like that was the only thing l had left, the only thing that I was good at. I felt like the years I had dedicated to softball meant nothing. I was no longer an athlete but anorexia. At the beginning of my eating disorder I wasn’t necessarily trying to lose weight but I was trying to get “healthy”. Once I realized that I had lost weight I felt a sense of achievement. Losing weight because my new sport and going longer without eating became my new game. At the time nothing mattered more than losing weight and I did. But most importantly I lost myself. I was a completely different person not only physically but mentally. I didn’t care about the people that I hurt along the way, I was constantly fighting with my family, and I was blinded by a false reality. But now in recovery from anorexia I’ve learned that no sport will ever define you, mental health is crucial, strong is not skinny, a number does not define you, reaching out does not make you weak, most importantly you are enough as you are. Life wasn’t meant to become the smallest version of yourself but to become the biggest badass version of you. So enjoy life and savor every moment. . XO Wendy 💕