iv been really struggling to make friends and im really lonely. i have been really upset with my body shape and i get really upset about it. i get really lonely and upset to the point that iv started to drink alcohol and smoke at 15 years old, and i feel like i might turn to drugs or suicide. i have been bullied and abused in the past and i have flashbacks around every 2 weeks of me getting hit. i wish this nightmare will be over, if anyone reads this please help