My name is Leah. I struggle with severe depression with psychotic features (because I constantly think people are talking about me/making fun of me) anxiety and eating disorders. They basically rule my life. The past month has been very difficult. After a suicide attempt on Christmas Eve I have been on medical leave from work and in and out of psychiatric hospital stays. I fear I will never get better because I still think about death almost everyday and how badly I just wish it would end. Since being out of the hospital my whole life has fallen apart. My mom kicked me out of my house. My friends are sick of hearing about it. Which I don't blame them for I mean how much can they listen to the same crap. I'm not sure why I'm writing this. I guess I just feel lost and alone with it now. I feel like I'll never get better. But now I have to hold it in cause I don't want to go back to the hospital. But I'm just so alone and sad with all of this and i hate it. I feel better sometimes, only cause all the meds I'm on now, but sometimes I feel the black hole sucking me right back in