I've struggled with depression & anxiety for almost 7 years now. It really feels like it came out of nowhere - one day I was a happy person who almost never cried & then suddenly I was someone who thought about suicide every day & self harmed in the school bathroom. Since then, my mental health has been up & down - for a while, it was almost like I was back to normal, but then . . . I wasn't. Honestly, I don't know that it will ever really go away & that scares me. I have too much going on to deal with this, too. I'm also not really in a position where I can afford therapy & if I'm really honest, I don't want to. It feels too much like backpedaling from all the process I was making. But I also know I can't keep sliding further into this cesspool. So I feel . . . stuck. But if there's anything positive to come out of this, I guess it's that I'm still here. I may not matter to many, but at least I have a loving family & boyfriend. I'm not totally alone. I just . . . can't talk to anyone else because I don't think they'll understand. Or care.