I have Trichotillomania. And most of you probably have no clue what this is. It's an ICD, closely linked to OCD and the simple explanation is: Trich makes you want to pull out your own hair - any hair on your body. For me it's mainly my eyebrows and lashes but sometimes also the hair on my arms, legs, stomach and the back of my head. I honestly have no idea why I'm doing this. Apparently some people pull when they're stressed or anxious but I do it all the time. And I can't stop. Trust me, if I could I would have done that already. But it isn't that easy. It's like having an itch that you REALLY need to scratch - often the urge is so strong that I even pick at my skin until it is bleeding. Yes, I'm hurting myself with this. I know what I'm doing is wrong and I often tell myself to JUST STOP but I still keep doing it every day. I think I've been living with this disorder for at least 6 years now. Once in 7th grade I pulled out such a big amount of my lashes that there was a noticable bald spot. A girl asked me about it, so I lied and said I had no idea what that was. But it made me realize that maybe this wasn't just some habit. Though it took me five more years until I finally did some research after my Psychology teacher had talked about hair pulling counting as self-harm. I can't control my Trich but sometimes I'm able to hold back a bit. It's hard when it comes to my eyelashes - I haven't had two complete rows of lashes for a very long time now - but as I am writing this I've been pull-free for three entire days in a row which has never happened before and I'm really proud. Maybe I'm making progress after all. Nobody else has noticed anything since 7th grade or at least I think so. I do my best to avoid situations where people might see my little scars and fresh injuries like at the public swimming pool, but it still stresses me out. I think seeing a therapist would help - but the thing is, I'd have to tell my parents first because I'm still a minor. But how do you tell your parents you've been pulling out your own hair for many years? I have no idea. I don't want to disappoint them. I really want to stop and knowing that I'm not alone helps: roughly 150-300 million people all over the world have Trichotillomania - it isn't a rare disorder. But few people know about Trich as nobody really talks about it. I myself have been too ashamed to speak up but now I want to help raise awareness because Trich is a thing. If you have it you're not a freak. It's a real mental disorder with a name, just like depression or anxiety. People should know about it so that those struggling with it don't have to hide anymore.