My depression started some time during fourth grade. I had horrible dyslexia, had almost no friends, and was being bullied. I would come home crying most days. My parents eventually took me to a counselor. During my meeting with the counselor I told her that I was feeling bad. Then the counselor told my parents. I felt betrayed. I kept everything bottled up.

I suffered through my depression through fifth grade, then all of middle school. Finally high school rolled around. I started staying up really late every night during freshman year. My depression got worse. By senior year I was doing 2 or 3 all nighters every week. I slept through most of my classes. My teachers and parents didn't notice anything wrong because my grades were all great. But I was having memory gaps. I would forget whole days. I was still depressed. I was still suicidal.

After I graduated high school, I had time to think over the summer. I thought that college would be a fresh start and that things would be better. College started and things got worse somehow. I still slept horribly. I developed intense anxiety on top of the depression. At one point I was trying to stay up all night. I just assumed that depression, suicidal thoughts, and sleep problems were just part of life. 

I found a friend who helped me so much. She helped me realize that my depression was not normal, and that I could live a life where I wasn't afraid of myself. I started planning out how to ask my parents for help. I was afraid to tell my parents. I thought they would be mad at me. I thought that I would be less than the perfect child they thought I was. One day I was driving home and I fell asleep at the wheel in my neighborhood. I ran into a mailbox and took off the right rear view mirror. I cried for hours.

Then I wrote a note asking to see a psychiatrist. I handed it to my father because I couldn't say the words. Then I cried more. My parents helped me as much as they could. Eventually I got put on Zoloft. It helped me so much. I finished my first semester with a 3.78 gpa.

Then I switched to Wellbutrin this semester. Everything has become so much better. Now I'm in my second semester of college. There were times when I thought I would never make it past junior year of high school. There were times when I thought I would never make it past college. I always thought that I would kill myself and die young. But seeking help and getting medications has helped me so much. I've realized that my issues were more of my brain than my life. I've changed so much. I'm happier. I do what I want. I know that I have a future. I got some piercings. I feel like I have woken up from a dream. I am now able to live my life.